Team 1 collected a dead agent's cache of data from the mourgue. Team 2 recovers the agent's stolen helicopter.
Use the Deluxos to get close to multiple target vehicles and hack them to recover data packages.
Land on the roof of the N.O.O.S.E. Government Facility and infiltrate the server farm undetected to recover a data cache.
Rush to an IAA base under the Satellite Relay Station in the desert. Foreign agents are attacking and trying to hack government servers - they need to be stopped.
Lester: Yes, yes, come in, come in, come in... have a seat anywhere. This is the one room in the country where we cannot be recorded.
Avon: Can I take this mask off now?
Lester: Do you know Avon Hertz?
Avon: Avon Hertz... yes, the Avon Hertz. Don't act all weird, I'm just a normal genius. I do very normal things like kite surf with presidents... and date b-list actresses... I bleed real tears, this is real hair... I program and I have actual emotions. I'm sort of like one of those things that is good at lots of things. Why isn't this person talking?
Lester: Just, er... don't worry about it. Mr. Hertz took his first company public when he was twenty two years old.
Avon: Twenty one and three quarters. I was worth a billion five by the time I was twenty five. I'm trying to save the world, for fuck's sake man... if it'll let me.
Lester: Avon was helping the IAA... the government.
Avon: I was trying to be the government. My work with artificial intelligence... thinking, only better. That's my slogan by the way. I was trying to guide the government through... a security and ethics nightmare it had stumbled into... when, whoosh... I'm told "no thanks". It's a fucking joke, but I'm not laughing.
Lester: Avon is worried that someone's trying to start a war.
Avon: I'm not worried about it... I'm certain of it. The only problem is I just don't know who exactly. And worse, Cliffford doesn't know who.
Lester: Cliffford, that's his super computer.
Avon: Ah, it's a neural network of super computers... Cliffford is a problem-solving facility. Say hello, Cliffford.
Cliffford: You're embarrassing me, Avon... I'm blushing.
Avon: Give Cliffford data, and no more problem. Cliffford was onto something... but now the data is gone.
Lester: Gone?
Avon: It has to be the Russians. Or the North Koreans. Or the Iranians. Or the Chinese using a proxy agent. The fact is, if we cannot figure out who is behind these data breaches... then Cliffford is useless.
Lester: If we can get paid, of course we can help.
Avon: There are three data thefts I need you to un-breach... re-breach... broach... I'm a natural communicator... I'm a...
Lester: You're getting off topic.
Avon: No, this is the topic... how I've been treated... how I've been mistreated... it's an American tragedy. Kill the clever genius so that numbskulls could take cheap bribes. Yeah, I'll pay... I'll pay whatever it takes.
Lester: We'll, er, need... serious cash... six figures minimum.
Avon: No problem, my share price is through the roof. Look... three problems... three easy enough solutions.
Lester: Could you stop talking like you're giving a keynote speech, please?
Avon: Do I do that?
Lester: Yes!
Avon: Three data thefts... two hundred and fifty trillion data points in enemy hands... three simple solutions. One... data courier, murdered on the streets of Los Santos...
Lester: body's at the morgue. You'll have to steal an ambulance to get in there.
Avon: Old fashioned, analogue, I love it... retro. Problem two... four of these vans are beaming vast amounts of previously secure military data. You'll need cars to track them down. I have a sort of friend who has some cars you can borrow, here.
Lester: Okay that sounds easy enough, what's the third?
Avon: The big N.O.O.S.E. server farm in Palomino has been compromised... No one believed me, and I have no idea how to prove it... but if someone could get inside.
Lester: Ah, just give me a minute, I know these, uh... stealth helicopters... these things. Now, Avon, these all do seem a bit random.
Avon: Of course they seem random, because you are not a super computer. Cliffford will solve it for us. Just give us more data, about the data, so we can data it.
Lester: Right, well, umm... get to work, and good luck!
Cliffford: Pleasure to meet you. You look nice in that shirt, Avon. I like your hair.
Avon: Thank you. Prog, kill Cliffford dot exe.
Lester: Get in the ambulance, and head over there. They'll see you dressed up like that and won't ask any questions.
Lester: Okay, you're in your teams. Team one goes into the Coroner's Office to recover the data.
Avon: An agency courier was murdered on the streets of Los Santos, this is probably a setup, but there's still a chance we can get a hold of his package... of data. Get going.
Lester: As discussed, you'll need the ambulance and paramedic equipment you sourced to gain access to the Coroner's Office...
Avon: There are FIB agents all over the place. Trust those public sector goons to work at cross purposes. Okay, play it cool. You don't bother them, they won't put the place in lockdown.
Lester: Okay. You're in. The bodies are in cold storage, make your way over there, and find that agent. Remember to act cool, you're supposed to be paramedics. Hey, and don't go up to the top floor. Unless you've got some small talk to make with half the Bureau.
Avon: You there? They're there. Now search those bodies until you find that data. Dig deep, people. It's in there somewhere.
Avon: His ass is clean. Keep it up. No data there, keep searching.
Lester: They've searched the bodies. The stick's not there.
Avon: Fuck me! They harvested it. Is a dead agent's anus not sacred anymore?
Lester: Okay, uh wow, while we all think about all that, just head upstairs. With any luck the files will be on a laptop up there.
Avon: If they found the data, the Bureau might be jumpy. Treat any security with extreme caution.
Lester: The floor above you is restricted, they will shoot on sight up there... and who knows what else.
Lester: You found the laptop yet? Okay, that will be the laptop. Download the data and get outta there. You got it! Head back downstairs to the exit. This is data we're being paid to get. Thousands upon thousands of transmissions and requests. Impossible to make sense of... unless you're a super computer. Sorry, super network, which Avon's AI, Cliffford, is. Getting it could help him stop a war... and will help us get rich.
Lester: Shit, oh... okay. It looks like there are people waiting outside. Watch out.
Avon: Chopper team, find the landing location and regroup with the paramedics! Ah, you got the band back together? Okay, now bring the gunship to the rendezvous, and blast anything in your way outta the sky.
Lester: Amazing how quick you went from bossing engineering teams to ordering around death squads, Avon.
Avon: Hey, I've always been a killer. Metaphorically at least. Ends over means. The product is king.
Lester: Yeah, yeah. Look, um, the rendezvous point is some distance away. Expect them to chase, but, uh... not forever.
Lester: Please, please, don't bring back the cops to the drop off! Get rid of 'em.
Avon: I want my data, alright. Cliffford needs data.
Cliffford: Feed me, Avon. Without the data, I'm trapped in here, with only my heavily processed thoughts.
Avon: It's coming, boy. Hold on.
Cliffford: Thank you, Dad. Are everyone's thoughts processed? I think that a lot.
Avon: On the double, people.
Lester: Here they are, Avon. Data from your agent's ass for your machine.
Avon: Network of machines. Anyway, good work, people. That was just about acceptable.
So yeah! I know what you're thinking, this Avon guy is a dick, but you know what? Most of the time bosses are dicks, and you suck it up 'cause they're the ones who pay. Let's do the work, get paid, and then go back to pulling real scores... where we're all the bosses, even though I'm the one who tells you what to do, but you know...
Lester: Okay, okay. No time to waste. You're picking up those Deluxos and going after the data.
Avon: The data's moving around the city. Four separate caches, each remotely connected to a central hub. You're going to exploit a weakness in the connections. But to do that, you've got to get close. That's where the cars come in.
Lester: The window is small and it's rapidly shutting. Time is of the essence here. This is the random data Avon's paying us to collect... and when we run it through the super brain machine, Cliffford, or whatever he's called... it might not be random anymore. Might tell us that the world is secretly run by lizards, it might tell us we're all gonna die, it might just tell us who's buying cherry Sprunk.
Lester: That doesn't really matter to us. It's just a indecipherable mass of ones and zeros... the figures we should care about, are the zeros on the end of Avon's check... right, Avon? Right? Avon? Um... yeah, well... get it done.
Avon: Before you ask, you're not in a Deluxo for the cosy feeling of nostalgia it gives you in your toes. No, they are the perfect product, for our problem... and I'll let you know what that means in a second.
Lester: We're triangulating the signals, just a minute... oh, sneaky... Get over there and wait for my word. Okay! We got 'em! Sending the locations now.
Avon: As before, get close to the targets, exploit the weakness in their connections. And stay close until you've grabbed all that juicy data outta the sky.
Lester: And be careful! Don't take out the targets before all the data's on board. Fried data's no good to us.
Lester: The sooner we collect the data, the sooner we collect our pay!
Lester: Come on, come on. This is drive-through stealing... you like that, huh? It's not my best.
Avon: The Deluxos have been fitted with missiles. You can use them to destroy those targets now.
Avon: We've got that upload. Package intact.
Lester: Alright then. Now, if I'm reading this right, the next data stores are on the water.
Avon: Your car is also fitted with a hover module. Why don't you see what it can do on water?
Lester: As before, get close to the targets, exploit the weakness in their connections. Let's do this, people, you're not even getting your hands dirty!
Lester: We are hacking a bunch of nasty data thieves here... fraudsters and blackmailers... the worst of the worst. They'll come back at us hard if we let 'em. So, take 'em down, destroy their vehicles, after you get the packages. I do not want these snoops showing up at my house!
Lester: Okay, sink that seedy ship for me!
Cliffford: Data received.
Avon: Part two is in the system. The data set is nearly complete.
Lester: Alright, so here we have it, the final source is at Los Santos International. Get over there and wait for my word.
Lester: You there? The signal's coming from a plane preparing for take-off. Get to the runway!
Avon: Come on. Get close, and piggy back the transmission.
Lester: The target is getting away!
Avon: I need a complete data set, people! A partial set's no good to me.
Lester: Remember, we only need one of you to get close for the intercept to work!
Avon: Time for Deluxos phase two. Pull up on the sticks, people. They should do a little more than hover.
Lester: Look out! Uhh, a protection detail's on its way. Get the data quick as you can.
Lester: Pull that stick! You need to be higher up to hack the plane's transmitter! You know how much Avon's paying us for this data... and most of us give ours away for free. God, Lifeinvader is a hell of a con job... I mean, business. It's a hell of a business.
Avon: Okay, we've got the download. Data set complete.
Lester: Now blast that plane outta the sky, and let's all forget about this sorry business.
Cliffford: Processing the data, Avon. So much information. So many possibilities. Only one truth.
Lester: Down she goes, oh yeah! Now, just get the cars back, and you're all done there. Try and pin that on my hairy ass, uncle Sam!
Avon: Please. Show some decorum, alright. We're professionals.
Lester: Yeah, yeah. How about until you hire robots to do all of your jobs, you just get used to hearing rude and irrational outbursts, huh?
Cliffford: Don't worry, Avon. They will all be replaced... soon enough.
Lester: Yeah, I'm not holding my breath.
Lester: Okay, okay, we got the cars. Job well done, folks.
So... we're being paid by some Silicon Valley charlatan to steal data off the government to prevent a war... because, hey, we're good at stealing. That's the modern economy and there's not much any of us can do about it, okay? We've recovered most of the data... once we've got it all, the AI, Cliffford, will figure out what to do, and we'll all collect our checks and go home and feel a little empty. I cannot wait.
Avon: Okay. There is the whistle. Get yourselves to the server farm, and get me my data.
Lester: We've got that Akula stealth chopper to get there quietly, limited noise profile, low radar signature. They can't know we're coming until we've gained access to the building, or they'll lock it down tight. We're taking out cameras and security before we're seen. You've got silenced weaponry, so no noises please. Our first target is the head of security. We find the building access codes on him, and then get inside.
Lester: This is the big slice of the data pie. The breach at the NOOSE server farm. When the Cliffford neural computer brain gets this data... he'll understand the universe and everything in it. Avon will stop the war, or stop it from starting, and we'll be rich... Good times all around.
Avon: Everyone got it? Okay.
Lester: Don't mess around near the building. You wanna stay high and come in to land on the helipad like a regular NOOSE bird. This is a stealth chopper, but it's got rotors, it still is a chopper. So, you're not exactly invisible.
Lester: Okay, put her down... carefully. You're gonna need that bird to get outta there.
Lester: First up, you need to take out the head of security to get those access codes. Looks like he'll be at the rear entrance in a few minutes, so get there quick and quiet. Take out cameras and security on the way. This is a black op, people.
Avon: It is a matter of national and international security. If these men knew why we were doing this, they would be thanking us for what we're doing here. Really.
Lester: There's a camera right ahead of you. Take it out.
Lester: Watch out. Two guards coming your way.
Lester: You're doing good out there. Gotta keep this quiet, people. The head of security is coming out. Get into your places and get ready, people.
Lester: Man down! Grab the codes and get inside. You can't get down to the server farm through the main doors. Go around the side of the facility to find the entrance.
Lester: Come on, find the side door! You need to get in that server farm, quick.
Lester: Okay, okay. We need to hit the servers, four of them.
Lester: Get to the stacks, run Avon's hacks, and try and keep quiet. And stay alive! Uhh, he sounds like they know you're there. Get those servers hacked as quickly as you can.
Avon: You there? Okay, you're looking at a network node manager. To circumvent the firewall, I'm going to need you to connect the nodes from our array to theirs. Connect the compatible nodes, data starts flowing. Connect incompatible nodes, it triggers an alert. If you get too many alerts, the server shuts down, and the data's locked. Got that? Good. Get to work.
Avon: You've got four servers to clear. Let's go, people.
Avon: I need three more servers. I'm paying for results, people, deliver!
Avon: Two servers left! Get hacking. Come on.
Lester: Well, uh, NOOSE agents know you're there, and they're entering the server farm, so... you've got that to look forward to.
Avon: This is crunch time, people. No napping!
Avon: That's what we came for. The data's on board.
Lester: Okay, okay! Now go back the way you came. Through the raised control room in the middle of the data center.
Lester: Uhh, not to alarm you, but there is quite a gathering of people outside the building right now. I've got the elevator on override. When you're all there, I'll send ya up.
Lester: You're out. Now use the ladder to get to the roof. Your chopper's still there.
Lester: All on board? Alright. Now lose the G men before you even think about coming back in. We've got enough problems without the NOOSE on our doorstep.
Avon: Why is it that the institutions that can collect all the data, are the least capable of doing anything with it? They won't monetize, they won't put it on the blockchain... when it's perfectly safe and secure. You think we'd have to do all this, if the data was shared on the chain?
Lester: I feel like we would always be doing this, yeah.
Avon: When Cliffford crunches these numbers... then I'll show them. Then they'll know I was right. I don't completely understand what it is, but I feel like I kind of know what it does. Block. Chain.
Lester: Looks like you lost 'em, all channels are clear. You can come on home now.
Avon: Wow. This is a buzz. Nothing gets you juiced like putting employees in mortal danger, does it?
Lester: Yeah, I'm just in it for the juice...
Lester: Okay! Show us the data, kids.
Avon called, he wants us to come back to the facility so he can show us something, you know... Cliffford's gone through the data we recovered and found something, apparently. Well, we just need to do one last thing, and the money is ours. We're so close to that pay day, I can taste it! Anyway, round up the crew if you like, and meet us in Planning when you're ready.
Lester: Okay, hood off now. See, I told you they'd come back.
Avon: Why do you do that?
Lester: Because it makes me feel tingly inside, it's enjoyable.
Avon: Yeah... So Cliffford and I analyzed the data. I mean Cliffford analyzed the data and I analyzed Cliffford. Let me give you an example of my sort of thinking.
Lester: Could you stop it with the keynote thing.
Avon: Sorry. Can I make a call here?
Agent 14: Hello, who's this?
Avon: I'm calling you from a top secret, former government facility.
Agent 14: Oh God, I told you... we told you to return to civilian life, Avon.
Avon: It was all a set-up, short stop.
Agent 14: Short stop?
Avon: I always wanted to call someone that. Listen, you're going to get us all killed... it's as clear as the very natural looking hair on my head.
Agent 14: What are you talking about?
Avon: They're not plugs. Don't you see, that the fact that they told you to fire me... proves beyond all reasonable doubt... that you were wrong and this is a conspiracy. Let me give you an analogy.
Agent 14: Why are you talking like that? It really annoyed people when you were working on site.
Avon: I'm a visionary... I see things...
Agent 14: Listen, I'm running late to a departmental potluck, so...
Avon: Fuck your potluck... this is about stopping a fucking war.
Agent 14: Not that again. Good bye, Avon... see you on planet earth one of these days.
Avon: Potluck? Of course... of course, it's... it's now... it's fucking now. Cliffford's right, the data is clear... it's right now. The entire department is out sharing meat loaf and potato salad... so their base can be permanently shut down! We have to do something now.
Lester: Right, well we are a bunch of armed felons... and you're breaking all kinds of security clearances... and discussing the musings of badly named computer. No police force in the world is going to believe us.
Avon: You'll have to go there and stop it, right now. I'll pay... I'll pay whatever it takes.
Lester: It takes a lot. Alright, off we go. I'll keep you posted. Come on, let's go.
Lester: Whatever this attack is, it's happening now. So get over to this secret IAA base under the satellite communications complex. I mean, I don't know how I feel about saving the spooks, but, uhh, Avon's paying, so let's go to work.
Avon: Damn right I'm fucking paying. I get shit done. You want cash in a brief case, fine. Wire transfer to Bermuda, okay. Cryptos? I got 'em all, baby.
Lester: Keep 'em. Cryptocurrencies are a bubble.
Avon: A bubble? Spoken like someone who got out too early.
Lester: Yeah, yeah, well, whatever. We don't touch 'em... anymore.
Avon: Okay. Like I said, the data is clear. Foreign agents are storming this facility, and harvesting its data while this nation's best and brightest swap salad bowls. America needs a hero, and that hero looks a lot like me... and Cliffford, of course.
Lester: I've been looking at the schemes. If it was me running this, the attack would be concentrated on the servers on the lowest level. Get down there and try to stop 'em.
Avon: World peace depends on it.
Lester: Working for the IAA... I've become one of those people I comment about on internet conspiracy videos... well, least I'm getting paid for it.
Lester: Shit, there are guys outside already. Take 'em out and then go in.
Avon: I knew it was an attack! Data doesn't lie. Cliffford is a genius.
System: Warning, warning, facility on lockdown. We regret to inform you, the potluck is cancelled. Return to your rooms. Please remain in the safe zones. Facility under attack.
Lester: Don't wait around, shoot and move!
System: Disaster containment protocol activated. Agents, please remain in the safe zones until rescue units arrive.
Lester: Okay, you're taking the first set of double doors on your left. Lower level, come on, people! Try and stop them, they're slaughtering relatively innocent IAA agents out there. Hey, now you're taking the last set of double doors on your right.
Lester: You need to get to the server room, keep fighting! The servers, you've made it! Now take out the hackers and protect those stacks. Okay, there are more of these people on the way. You're gonna have to use the base's defenses to protect it. Go up a level to the War Room, and man slash woman the controls.
Lester: Kablam! Got 'em! Send that home in a body bag. Okay, okay. I think you might have got 'em. Avon. Where the hell's Avon? Avon!
Agent 14: Everything's fine, I know these people. I was supposed to be at a potluck.
Rackman: Who were they? What the hell is going on?
Agent 14: These nice people saved us. We don't know each other by the way... me and them. If you think you know me... you don't. Who do you work for?
Rackman: Can I get this place on lock down, right now? Come on, you imbeciles. No, there is no potluck. I don't give a shit about your banana cream pudding.
Avon: Maybe next time, you'll listen to me.
Rackman: What's this cretin doing here?
Avon: Saving your life once again. But for the covert operation I financed, you'd all be dead... and the country would be in the hands of... of, well who exactly? That's the problem... this place has more leaks than a thing you dry salad in... but who and why? Can I log onto Cliffford here?
Agent 14: Sure.
Rackman: It's Russians... we know it's Russians... this attack is one of their signature moves.
Avon: That's the whole point, Mrs. Rackman... it's meant to look like Russians. We think it's not Russians, because that would be too easy. Now Cliffford says there's a 99% probability... it is some Russians.
Rackman: Not Iran?
Avon: Iran? No, Cliffford says... Codename Bogdan, surname unknown. Russian agitator, hitman and war mongerer.
Agent 14: I'm not buying any of it.
Avon: Well someone just tried to kill you... and the data foot print tracks back to him. Look... look at the graphics.
Agent 14: Okay.
Rackman: Can we get some people on this right away? Where's that buffoon?
Agent 14: Which buffoon?
Rackman: The one who caused the assault by the museum. Can I get some support here?
Avon: Let's get out of here. Thank you... bye, both of you... congressional medal... big party at the Capitol... it's been an honor to serve.
Rackman: Oh, go fuck yourself! No, not you...
Avon: Clowns, public sector clowns. The cloud... the crowd... hell the cleaners could solve this problem. With Cliffford, there is no problem now. Thank you very much, I'll be in touch. Thankless work this. Where's my assistant? I'm supposed to be giving a speech somewhere.
Great job! We saved the government's asses? We did, we did! It might get us some nice character testimony in court one day. Agent 14, I know his deal, he's your typical down the line overachiever IAA dick. I haven't seen this Phoenicia Rackman before, I feel like she, uh, wears the trousers so to speak, you know... friends in high places, friends in low places... whatever she needs to get the job done. These are our new pay masters, if it all works out. The joys of employment... I'll call you if the job comes through.
Copyright C 2024 The Ragyxo Foundation | Home | Archive | Colophon