Main talk by Lester Crest.
Observe security at the Fleeca Bank on the Western Highway. Then collect Paige and some equipment from the factory, and come back to the apartment to plan the score.
Source the getaway car for the Fleeca Job. It's currently being looked after by a Little Seoul stick up crew in a Del Perro parking lot.
Ah, ah. Yes, yes, this will do very nicely. Very nice place you've got. Very er... chic. Nothing like a bourgeois bank robber to remind me of how strange Los Santos has become. In my day the psychos had the dignity to be psychotic. Nowadays, it's all about er... home furnishings and going straight. Right, you ready?
Because this is it. Well, its... it's no it, but er... it's something, it's something er... very big. It's not quite ready yet, but I wanted to see how you're doing. What I've got is a Fleeca Bank franchise. It's nothing too complicated, there's no buy in. Now normally, there would be a buy in, you would put in money up front, we would arrange the job and you would pull it off, but this I'll er... cover the upfront costs. Call it the er... price of getting a look at you. And there's no risk to you. Unless of course you count getting locked up or shot.
So, you ready? Now, what do you think? You er... got questions, comments, concerns?
Alright, what are you waiting for? Let's go to see this place.
Let's go. Take us to the Fleeca on the Western Highway near Chumash. Word of warning, we're on the job right now, so don't let the cops notice you. If they come after us, we call it off.
So, my taciturn friends, I suppose you want to know how we're doing this. Well, funny you should ask. We're diving out to the bank, taking a look at it, picking up some equipment, and then heading back to make our plans. Not very complex at all. We're not going in, we're not poking it with a stick, we're just sitting back and taking a look. You see, I like my scores like I like my dates - across the street and unaware they're being watched.
Alright, so why this bank, over all the other banks in the state, why does fortune favor this one? Another good question. You're full of good questions. You're like a child whose parents think It's clever, or the IRS. Well, this bank's got some safety deposit boxes, and in one of those safety deposit boxes are some bonds being hidden from the taxman that no one's going to report missing. All starting to make sense?
Security should be light, well, relatively light. Light if your day dreams are raid on the Union Depository. Quite heavy if your day job is turning over liquor stores and gas stations. And the bonds in the box will be worth more than a few rumpled notes from a till so, the minor escalation is worth it... if you can handle it.
Plus, you know, the sea view. Nothing like staring at the ocean while you contemplate money and power and incarceration, and homicide, all those weighty issues surrounding your first foray into serious armed robbery. I'm assuming you're kind of cerebral crew, because otherwise, this whole not talking deal just kind of puts you on the spectrum, right? Okay, well, how about we just get there and see where we're at.
There it is. Take a look. Drink it in. I've patched into their security feed on my cell. Take a look. What are we looking at? Small joint. Not much security. Staff won't give a crap, specially about the deposit boxes. Customers'll probably be thinking how to turn this into a screenplay. The boxes are in the back behind a safe door. We want number 167. It's right on the highway with good access. That works for you, you can get out quick. But it'll also work for the cops, speed up their response time. Okay? Okay.
We've seen what we're gonna see. Let's go to the garment factory. Now, when you hit the bank, you're going to need to hack into its security system, I've written a neat little program that'll do most of the work for you, but it's probably a good idea for you to familiarize yourselves with it. You in the passenger seat, I've sent it to your phone. Take it for a dry run, keep your hands steady, and maybe the wet run won't be a disaster.
I'm calling Paige. She's my assistant. First, she's going to get us what we need, then she's going to saw me in half... No? You didn't like that one? You don't make it easy.
Paige... It's Lester. The place looked good. Nothing we weren't expecting... Can you get the intel together? Hard copies to go on a notice board... Yeah. Plus, all the equipment we spoke about. I'll be over to collet it with those people... Yeah... Hmmm. Charming as ever... Okay, see you soon.
She's loading the hardware into the back for a truck. Tools for the job, things for you to wear. On a job, your attire will depend on the role you're performing. As the jobs get more complicated, so will the uniforms. If you're likely to be seen by civilians, you'll be provided with a couple of marks; then, when you go into the bank, you can choose on that... does with your eyes. And hey, the added bonus of none of your favorite comic convention outfits being linked to a major crime. Whoop de doo.
Where were we? Masks! Paige! Oh yeah. We'll go over there, pick her up, and go back to your place to plan this thing. I can talk you through the planning board later, that might be helped by a visual aid. The rest is pretty self-explanatory. Listen to me, do what I say. Bullets go in here, come out there. And if you're ever caught, you keep your mouth shut. I couldn't resist.
Passenger seat, did you get into their network? Good work.
There's Paige. We're leaving this car, taking the truck. I should be using my cane.
Come on. Back to your place.
Lester: Is it all there?
Paige: I think so. You wanna get out and check, go down the inventory? Or are you happy sitting there making a perfect butt imprint on your easy-wipe seat?
Lester: I'll take your word of it.
Paige: Thank you. It should all be there. The clothes. Guns. Headsets. Holdalls. Masks. The drill. The files with all the photos and surveillance work. Hey, there's enough here to make us all look real suspicious. Nice little conspiracy to commit robbery charge waiting to happen.
Lester: What, they gonna charge us with thought crime?
Paige: Not so much thought as everything-but-the-deed-crime. We'd be caught with our pants down and a hard-on out to here.
Lester: Well, we're not getting caught. These are professionals.
Paige: So, I hear. The cheapest professionals money can buy.
Lester: I like to think of it as investing in new talent. And until you and me start playing low rent Bonnie and Clyde, that's the way it's got to be. She didn't mean anything by that, by the way. She's just a little brusque.
Paige: If they were offended, they would have said something.
Lester: Okay, okay, okay. Now, Paige will set up a board for you. Won't you, Paige?
Paige: I'd let you do it if you could reach, I mean I didn't see any milk crates for you to stand on.
Lester: The most important thing to look for an employee is respect. You can't get anything done without respect. Now where was I? Oh, yes, yes, er... the room. Now Paige is setting up this board on which you will plan your scores, you'll use it to er... set out all the prep work you need to do, select your crew, figure out how the take from a score should be slit up. So you need a crew to take a score, but only one person can be in charge. Respect, hmm? Isn't that right, Paige?
Paige: Blow me
Lester: Alright, it's... funny. You're only gonna need er... one thing, for this er... for this job. It's a high speed, armored car. Now instead of getting one legitimately, leaving a nice long paper trail to your front door, you're gonna be jacking one from a nasty Korean crew and leaving a nice long paper trail to their door instead.
Paige: This is good to do.
Lester: Okay, here's your board. Good, good, good. Now when you're ready to move on the car, go over it, study the plan, tick it off the list. You must be methodical. This isn't just a dumb crime. Well there... there is an element of that, huh? And when you've got the car, we'll come back here and talk bank jobs. Bank jobs... bank jobs...
Hello. Can you hear me? You almost there? Remember, you can do this however you like as long as you're careful. If you're not careful, they'll clock you, and then you won't get any choice how this is going down.
They're meant to be on the top level of this garage on the north side. So, I see two ways of doing it - you go up the north ramps and hit 'em hard and quick. Or you go up the south ramps, get in position, and try to get the drop on them from cover. Eh, you can do it however you like as long as you get it done
And, oh yeah, we don't anyone looking for you, so put on masks before saying "hi".
You got the car? Now drop any cops or gangsters or whoever you've got coming after you, and bring it to my garment factory. And try not to damage the car too much. You can't rob a bank in a wrecked car
How's it driving? I don't want to call this an idiot-proof heist car. I mean there's no limit to some people's stupidity but you gotta be very fucking dumb to let the cops catch you in one of these. It's got muscle, traction, light weight armor that shouldn't compromise performance, this is the one for us. Now get it back in one piece and I'll shut up about it.
How you doing? Paige's going to meet you under the bridge near the factory. This score is coming together.
Paige: Okay, I'll look after this. Lester will come by your place when you're ready to go
Ah... your first time... You know the first times, well it's never easy, there won't exactly be fireworks, you know? It'll be vaguely awkward and disappointing, you know? You'll probably stick the wrong thing in the wrong part and then you'll finish too early and... and you won't be able to make eye contact afterwards, but new worlds will... will open up. Something will have changed, you know? New opportunities, new risks. And that's when you'll remember that old Uncle Lester was here for you, holding your hand, you know? Guiding you through it. And then you'll feel a little creeped out, but, you're gonna repress it. Squash it down, and we'll never talk about it, okay? Okay? Hmmm, okay. First time, Fleeca! Woo!
It's a two-man score, right? One of you drives, keeps the heat off of you. The other goes into the bank, goes to the specific safety deposit box and then you get out of there. You get in that fast armored car and you get the hell out of that place. then once you're clean, once you've got no heat on you, come see me, give me the box and you get paid, hmm?
Okay. You know what, like I said, it is your first time, so don't expect too much. There are wild insane mind-blowing orgies in your future! Orgies! But er... you know, we all gotta start somewhere. Good luck
Okay. Here we go. I'm excited for you. I've got goose bumps up my arms and butterflies in my stomach and a light film of sweat on my upper lip. You know where you left the car. At least I hope you do. You weren't drunk on painkillers, were you? Oh no, that wasn't me. Okay, get in the car, the move on to the bank.
Driller, I'm sending you that hacking program. When you get in the car, you need to get on it, and start breaking into their system.
Driller, start hacking their network. You need to establish a connection before you get to the bank. Then you'll be able to trigger the vault door remotely. The hacking program's cleaning up after you, so you can take as many shots as you want, and they won't know they're being attacked.
Once you walk through those doors there's no turning back. Well, actually there's no turning back now because I've put a lot of work into this and I'll be really, really annoyed with you if you don't go through with it. You know, I'd probably refuse to speak to you for a week and then spread nasty rumors behind your back and maybe set up a LifeInvader page about what a creep you are.
It'd be scarier if I threatened to kill you, wouldn't it? But in the age of the internet, when nothing is forgotten, and humiliation is worse than death. I a way? No it's not, is it?
I should have made a death threat, or, like, at least a mutilation threat, said I'd, you know, cut off your nose or I'd use your ass as an ashtray, or do something with your tongue. Not that you use your tongue, not that you use your tongue.
The next pair of mutes I try to help into a career in crime, I'll make sure I threaten.
Okay, time to open the vault. Take out your phone and trigger the door. Here we go. Put a mask on if you haven't already, and get inside.
Okay, now find the safety deposit box. You found the box? Okay, go in your bag, get out the drill. Don't go too quick, or it's going to overheat. If you see smoke ease off. If the drill burns out, this whole thing will take too long. Keep going. We need that box. You need to hurry this up. How you doing with that drill? That drill got another gear? Come on
You got it. Get back to the car.
Go! Go! Go! You didn't come this far to end up in the back of a squad car.
I've got my getaway guy waiting for you on Zancudo Bridge. He's got a plan for the cops if you can just get there. Guy's name is Eddie Toh, he's a professional, he'll take care of everything.
Toh: Hey, come in. This is your getaway guy. Lesters tells me you are inbound.
Toh: Keep driving for the bridge. I got this under control.
Toh: Okay, you're almost on me. We just might do this. You want a lift? Get under. This is the get out, come on! We have lift off. Let's go!
Show it to me. Oh yes, it is the holiday season at the Crest residence, and daddy's out drinking. I gotta say... you passed. And if that thing I talked about comes up, I'll call you and, in the meantime, if anyone comes to me I'll mention you as a reliable pair of hands.
Hey! For a first time that wasn't bad, but don't get clingy.
There's your FSA fine, Fleeca fucks!
Uh, you'll sleep well tonight. We all will. Enjoy the spoils while you can. I'll be back in touch if there's more work down the road
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